Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Star Baby Afghan

WIP number one! I started this about 2 weeks ago, it will be a star baby afghan and is being made from baby weight 4ply yarn with a 4mm hook. Whilst it's light and soft, it's slow to work up... I don't know why I thought 4ply would be a good idea over 8ply but it seemed brilliant at the time! I'm now regretting my decision slightly; it dawned on me that I may never actually finish it. It's quite small at the moment, only on row 12 or 13 (I think). I also don't know why I cut the yarn after one row of the yellow given I had another 4 rows to do with it. Brain not attached to rest of body today. Plus I'm too angry at the weather to think about much else... yet another thunderstorm passing us by without bringing any rain!!! This build up has lasted forever and I am well and truly over the heat and humidity. JUST RAIN ALREADY!!!!!! I am losing my marbles.

Monday, 29 December 2014

Too many WIPS!

For those of you who don't know what a WIP is, lucky you! It means you finish things. It stands for 'work in progress', and I have A LOT of them. So many in fact that I'm going to start selecting a current WIP and blogging it's journey from whatever state it's currently in to completion. You'll be able to follow the progress of my WIPS by perusing through the links on the right hand side of my blog should you wish to do so, and I do hope that you will! Even leave me a few words of encouragement? I procraftinate so well that I procraftinate finishing one project by starting another one. Oh I'm not insane, other yarn (or fabric!) addicts will understand. So, let this be the beginning of accountability! Like when you diet or start exercising and want to share your progress so others can keep you on track and cheer you on etc, you, the person reading, are now my unfinished crochet project cheer squad. Congratulations ;)

By the way, I'm not actually going to start putting my list of WIPS together until tomorrow, I have crochet to do.

See? Procrastination level 100.

Sunday, 14 December 2014

Gingerbread, crochet food and a sparkly edible laptop.

It's amazing what you feel like doing when you aren't stressed. Since opening Dear Doily Handmade in April this year, custom orders have filled nearly every spare waking moment and I won't lie, it has been really stressful at times. Sometimes I forget that I'm just a hobby business and I can really turn the pace down if I'm uncomfortable with it. I've been priding myself on orders being completed quickly, but it isn't until you begin to wind down for the year that you realise exactly how much time you've been spending on them. Having closed for the Christmas/New Year period I've been enjoying a bit of 'me time' crochet wise... I felt like making a couple of unicorns and a dragon last fortnight, so I did! Yesterday I felt like making some cupcakes and trying out some amigurumi strawberries for the first time, so I did! Today I decided that I'd never thought of trying a seahorse, and I do love seahorses, so can you guess what's been on my hook? Hehe There have also been a couple of lovely cowls created with my new Lion Brand Tweed Stripes yarn that I had ordered for mermaid tails.

No, that mermaid tail set that appeared last post hasn't been finished yet. I didn't say I'd gotten more organised during this break *wink* I'll get to it. It's crazy insane idea overdrive!!! MAKE ALLLLL THE THINGS! I make cowls in summer... in a Darwin summer... because I'm a crazy person!

So my lovely little seahorse is going to be mint, pale pink and purple (three of the few coordinated colours left in my dwindling stash, I need to re stock again soon!) and it's currently in little pieces across the right hand side of my laptop. After dinner I'll get back to it, absolutely dying to see how it turns out!!! I'm mean, c'mon... sea horses are ADORABLE. Imagine a whole tank filled with them and other sea creatures?! *Swoon*

Ohhhh I made gingerbread cookies today too! They look and taste pretty fab but my god they took forever! Baking whilst parenting a grumpy teething 14 month old is a slow process, I think I made the dough this morning, then baked them mid afternoon and iced them later in the afternoon. My hands and dermatitis are hating me right now from all the time they've spent in hot soapy water washing up after myself. Baking would be so much more fun if someone else cleaned up the mess. All I can say is thank Zeus for disposable piping bags, or my stars, trees and gingerbread people would have been all green. Seriously, who enjoys cleaning out and drying a piping bag after every colour change? Although people who probably enjoying icing things regularly most likely own more than one. I got to use the edible glitter I'd bought too... it is now covering my kitchen and the keys of my laptop which I stupidly left on the kitchen bench during the decorating process because stupid me forgot to turn off the kitchen fan. Derp, Tash. It didn't occur to me until after I'd finished baking the biscuits that I can't have the usual royal icing I use for them due to the raw egg white and being preggo BUT the internet came to my rescue and I actually found a really neat recipe that uses that Pavlova Magic stuff instead (recipe HERE if you'd like it!) and whilst the recipe made enough to build a cyclone shelter out of, it was the perfect substitute. It dries like a dream and is deliciously glossy. 'Scuse the dingy pics, but here they are. Oh yeah, the pink ones were supposed to be red, but I can never get the red to actually go red so now it looks they're naked.
That's about it! We've just been bumming around this weekend, playing with our little critter who is having a blast now that he can walk, and currently waiting for the roast pork and vegies to finish cooking so we can all go to bed like the old farts that we are ;-)

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Mermaid tails and uneaten cake.

Here I am!!! Darnit I nearly blogged everyday for a week, but then a stomach bug hit and totally knocked me out for four days. It was AWFUL. The trip to the emergency department, and the five hours that followed was really the icing on the cake; especially since my husband and 14 month old had to wait there along with me until we knew what was happening, and by then it was too late for them to go home and come back to get me.
The dishcloths I made after having crochet withdrawals whilst sick
Speaking of cake, it's ironic actually because my husband baked a chocolate fudge cake the night before I woke up throwing my guts up (charming, huh?) and it sat un-iced on the kitchen bench for around three days. I think it's still down there in a container, although I doubt it edible anymore. The one time he decides to bake a flippin' cake!! Ah well. Maybe cake is a bad omen? Nah, never. I also had some Tim Tam truffles I'd made that are also still sitting in the fridge downstairs and have been for around a week now... neither of us have really had the appetite for them! Tell you what, it's a good thing we're going to have company for the next two weeks (father in law is coming to visit) because it's really hard when you want to bake and cook delicious things but have no one to really share them with, and consequently then try to eat them all yourselves (appetite permitting! Not recovering from an evil bug of doom whilst battling your usual morning/all day sickness would help a little in that department).
The little gift I bought myself today, it had me at 'free crochet gift'
Oh yes, it's been fun with the morning sickness thrown in. I'm still not feeling 100% now, not eating much and trying to drink as much as I can stomach to keep that migraine from coming back, but definitely better than the alternative of being stuck in bed with a bucket permanently draped around your neck. MUCH better.

Would you believe that those few days I was sick, I was actually missing being able to crochet? There wasn't a single hope in heck I would have managed it, but I was thinking about it! I've made up for it yesterday and today though! As soon as I felt human again, or the closest thing it at least, I made a few dishcloths.

Mobile phone photos for this blog post, because I was much too lazy to get the camera out and find the SD card *cough cough*. Let's see, what have I been up too? Well my beautiful order of Lion Brand Tweed Stripes from my favourite American supplier arrived on my doorstep this morning... I opened the package and basically salivated all over the plastic wrapper. It is BEAUTIFUL. It was bought specifically for a lovely new mermaid tail pattern I'd bought, but was having trouble matching the right yarn for. I just figured it was easier to order the exact stuff it says to use, so much less stress that way. YES, that is something that stresses me. It drives me batty when so many of my favourite patterns are written with American yarn weights in mind and I don't have ready access to them or a solid basis for comparison to substitute. That's why my supplier is my absolute new best friend! So anyway, I obviously needed to make said mermaid tail pronto, I'm in luuuuuuurve! Isn't it lovely? The colourway is just amazing! I have another lot to try out aswell when I get the chance to make the second one. (Do excuse the tails still hanging out).

Then there's this itty bitty santa prop set I whipped up yesterday... the bottom half was a challenge and a half, given I was trying to work it out as I went, and there were A LOT of failed attempts. I got there eventually. I'm thinking I might pop a subtle chain drawstring around the legs and waist so it can be fitted a little closer in case it's too big. Babies are so hard to size correctly! A prop made for a 5lbs baby isn't much use on a 9lbs baby. All the set needs to finish it off is the pom pom for the hat... which I will admit I procrastinated doing tonight because truthfully I really dislike making pom poms. I will do it though... that will be on the top of my 'just do it' list for tomorrow morning. Also on the list is going into the main shopping centre to pick up some bits and pieces and I am just dreading dreading dreading the crazy crowds. I'd rather make pom poms!
Oh! Nearly forgot! I totally had my 19 week baby morphology scan today :-) I can now share with utmost delight that we are expecting a little boy! And if today's 1 hour 42 minute long scan is any indication, he is going to be one stubborn and active little peanut. You read that right... my scan today took 1 hour and 42 minutes! Bubba was so super dooper active for the first part of his scan that the sonographer had trouble checking him, then when it came time to check his heart was working/looking the way it should, a certain young sir decided he'd worn himself out and refused to move from his comfy little spot. I had to leave for a walk (Officeworks was next door, I'd never been and being the complete stationary addict that I am nearly died. See notebook I absolutely HAD to have), jump up and down, roll from side to side and have the sonographer actually poke bub on the bottom a few times to get him to move... he wasn't interested however and stayed put. Hence the long appointment! Eventually he shifted enough to get what we needed, cheeky thing!

So yep! That's been my week... how was yours? Getting close to Christmas now, hopefully you're more organised than me and have more presents actually bought and wrapped other than the one for the dog. I have a totally messy house and a whole lot of things to get done before Thursday, for now though I am going to spend 15 minutes watching Dirty Dancing and starting a lovely chunky v-stitch cowl with my spare ball of Tweed Stripes before hitting the sack. It's 10pm, staying up too much longer when you have a baby that will wake at 6.30am is silly. Geez Louise I wish I didn't have this heartburn though!

Night! Xx

Thursday, 4 December 2014

Meet Amethyst, the dragon

This beautiful creature is about 30-ish cm tall, and has taken me 4 days of nap times (Lynton's, not mine. I wish I could crochet in my sleep!) to finish. She's made up of so many different pieces which need to be sewn together in just the right places for her to stand unassisted. I've named her Amethyst and she is now ready to go out into the world and find her forever home! Have I mentioned how much I am enjoying 'freelance' crocheting at the moment? LOVING IT.

Wednesday, 3 December 2014

My FABULOUS background... and more unicorns. I swear not EVERY post has unicorns in it ;)

Our power went out again last night, apparently every time there's a decent lightening storm half the Territory goes out. When it's 30 degrees at midnight and you don't even have a fan to circulate the air it is honestly torture. Well, it is for us preggos and mums of babies who are used to sleeping in the cool... and the fun part of it happening is you never know how long it's going to be out for. It was gone for 12 hours earlier this year!! YUCK! It came back after around an hour thankfully. Between that and the neighbour's two dogs barking CONSTANTLY through the night, we didn't get much sleep. My husband got up to our little one this morning only to find that his bed, his toys, the floor, his hair, his clothes were all covered in vomit. The poor little guy had been sick through the night and we didn't know until this morning. I'm not sure that his air con turned back on when the power returned and he may have gotten too hot and been sick as a result. He seems pretty normal today, a bit sleepier than usual but totally understandable given all thunder and barking. I am SO grateful that my husband was here to shower the baby and wash his things instead of me as I'm still taking anti-nausea pills first thing and probably would have only added to the mess.... what a glamorous notion, right?! *pregnancy is worth it, pregnancy is worth it, pregnancy is worth it* and repeat.

BUT after all the dramas were sorted and the mess cleaned up, the little man went down for his morning nap and I got to test out my new photo background!! TA DA!
What do you think? Is it fabulous, or is it fabulous? *wink* SO easy to put together and store! WHOOP!
I have a teeny weeny little feeling that flower garlands will be something that features more and more on my hook come next year, as soon as I saw those little pretties together in a line on twine a flurry of ideas whirled around in my mind. Oh the possibilities! *swoon*
Oh, and those unicorns I shared a crummy phone pic of in yesterday's post? Here they are in full daylight in all their unicorn-y glory! See what I mean? White canvases and natural light for the win! All I've done with the images are increase the exposure a little and touched up the temperature so the blue cast wasn't so strong. I'd be lost without my 50mm lens and LR; I can't always use them properly, but I'm getting there. I'd love to have a little space where I could leave my background, tripod and camera set up but it's just not possible with a little person (soon to be two) running around. I used to have a nice big crafting/sewing desk in the 'spare' room but hubby has taken over it with his laptop. Fair enough I suppose, I have every other surface and storage area in the house covered/filled with yarn :p
Anyhoodles, I have that midwife appointment this afternoon which I'm oddly nervous about... although it may be the lack of sleep making me feel a bit precious so wish me luck there. Ooooooh and this Saturday I have plans! YES, that's right... plans! To leave the baby with the other half and actually go to lunch other humans, other PREGNANT humans! Honestly, if you really knew how little time I spend outside my house then you'd totally get why it's such a big deal ;-)

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Crochet photo-envy, bad horrors and baby unicorns.

Hello internet,

How has your Tuesday been? We haven't done much, just another day spent trying to entertain my little cyclone on legs and keep my husband out of trouble. I seem to be super accident prone today though as I've manage to kick my little toe solidly not once, but twice and fallen up the stairs. Yes, up. I would say that it's a pregnancy thing to be this clumsy but I'm usually always this way.

I have my first midwife appointment tomorrow afternoon so that should be good, then in another 13 days we have my father in law coming to visit us up here in the Territory. We did have a minor set back with a surprise bill (that is apparently due before Christmas Day) dampen the spirits a little but we'll manage. Any day can be brightened a bit with crochet, I finished up two baby unicorns which I'm excited about putting up tomorrow... aren't they the sweetest?
It's been nice to have a break from orders and work on a few ideas. I've been waiting for the chance to try these in a colour combination other than pink and purple, and I couldn't be happier with how they turned out! One is in purple and green, and the other in orange and blue. I want to experiment with a black and red one at some stage, it's on the list! A flower garland also happened today, I already had the flowers and have been wondering for a while what to do with them. After I'd bought home two canvasses with the intention of using them as my new photography background I had the idea of threading them onto some twine to use as part of my new set up. I'll have to wait until tomorrow to try it all out together but I hope it will look alright!
I'm constantly on the look out for ways to better show off the things I make, and constantly jealous of the amazing photos I see at The Patchwork Heart and Attic 24 (isn't everybody?!) wishing I had made such beautiful things and had a beautiful blog to display them. It's a dream. Don't even get me started on Molly Makes.

One day though, right?

One of those unicorns was actually made whilst watching The Amityville Horror, although I accidentally picked up the 2005 remake, not the original and I can't say I was overly impressed. Whilst I'm not a huge horror movie fan I will occasionally crochet to one. I have an uncanny knack of looking up right at the moment something jumps out. Most of my crochet is made whilst watching something. I went through season after season of Downton Abbey whist making some giraffes last fortnight, a snuggle blanket was created whilst watching an episode or two of HBO's Silicon Valley, and I have a scrap-ghan on the go at the moment which has been steadily created with Daria on in the background. I've often thought I should actually mention which movie or TV series it was that accompanied the creation of each particular handmade doodad. It's a hooker thing, I'm sure nearly all fiber-fiends do it! It IS actually possible to watch an entire season of something and recognise the voices of each character, but not actually know what any of them look like ;-)

Monday, 1 December 2014

Travelling with toddlers... just don't do it.

Hello, hello!
I was just thinking to myself that I don't blog very often. I like the idea of blogging but I'm not very good at the actual practice of it. I wish I had super awesome artistic photos of completed crochet to show you everyday and some meaningful musings to go along with it! My life really isn't exciting enough to write about. I could perhaps try to make more of an effort, for myself, you know? Alas I have no artistic photos to share with you this particular post, just this one of some unicorn bits I made whilst at the kiddies play centre this afternoon.
Our little guy deserved a nice big play and run around after being cooped up on a plane for so long last night. We flew back in from a wedding in Port Macquarie, we were only there for 2 days, and the flights were long and painful. Apparently our son doesn't like to sleep even when totally and utterly zonked. I can't say we'll be travelling any distance with a toddler again any time soon. Some people get lucky where kids and planes are involved, unfortunately that isn't us. Hubby and I are pretty exhausted, although we did have a wonderful short trip! Seeing family and having them spend time with their first grandson and nephew was really nice. My sister and brother hadn't seen him since he was 21 days old.

My husband is now on holidays for about a month, and I'm taking some downtime from custom orders over that time to do my own 'thang'. I've already created one unicorn in a colour combo I'd been dying to try out, and I have various parts of a dragon lying around on my bedroom dresser awaiting assembly and details, then there's the purple, green and white one I started earlier today. I'm really excited to start the new year with some pre-made toys ready to go :-) I have made hundreds of orders over this past year which has been both amazing and exhausting, many many nights spent speeding through my projects to get them ready on time for my lovely customers. I'm so so thrilled that I am able to continue doing what I love thanks to the huge amount of interest and support I've received. 2014 has been a massive year! This will be our second Christmas here in Darwin, I can't believe we've been here just over a year already! I have no idea what to expect from 2015, lots of sleepless nights and mayhem with baby number 2 arriving in May, and goodness knows my crochet will slow down for a while, but we are excited about starting a new chapter!

Saturday, 11 October 2014

No milk.

Well, you may have noticed that I've given up with Project Positive. Not overly surprising! Hi all! Just popped in for a ramble. Yes, I popped into the internet. Like a pop tart pops out of a toaster, only less tasty and with less of a 'pop' sound. Unless it's one of those toasters that's super powered and projectiles your toaster pastries across the room, in which case DUCK! I said that I popped in though didn't I? Ok well just replay that image you had but in reverse. There you go.

I'm sorry that a free pop tart didn't just fly at you out of the internet. Life is full of disappointments. Like today. Today has been disappointing for me. I have no milk. Not the big disaster you were expecting? It's a seemingly insignificant thing, having no milk. Usually in the event of running out of said milk, one simply replaces it with another one bought from the supermarket. That's what is supposed to happen... but not here and not today. I can't actually replace my milk because I have no means of leaving to replace my milk. And it isn't so much the missing milk that's really upset me. It's the sudden realisation that I can't simply go out and replace something that has run out and that makes me feel quite panicked. Of all the things!

You see, I am, for the first time, husband-less for the next 2 weeks and it's quite frankly terrifying. Terrifying because there's no one to help me cope when my 1 year old is being difficult. Terrifying because if I can't hold it all together for one day there is no one coming to save me. Terrifying because I might forget to take the bins out. Terrifying because I happen to live on the side of a highway in the middle of nothing, 15 minutes from anywhere inside a big fence that doesn't allow me to have visitors. Not so much of a problem for normal well adjusted folk who don't freak out over the sudden lack of dairy, or people who can in fact drive their cars to anywhere else but here. Not so much of a problem for people who have friends or family nearby, or for people who can simply fly away which I hear is a common solution to problems such as these.
The little act of using the last bit of milk has left me feeling all together out of sorts and shaken up like an ice cream spider. Practically speaking, I can order more online but not for another few days when I get paid again. I didn't realise that grocery delivery had a limit before it could actually be delivered. Running out of bin bags and washing powder was not nearly as problematic as running out of milk. The washing can wait and I have plenty of other trash receptacles to substitute bin bags in the mean time. I need milk for coffee (NECESSARY), baking, cereal, to give to my son, making mash potato, the list goes on! Stuff you take for granted you have readily accessible milk.

I guess the main thing here is that when you have limited means of travel and you're stuck and feeling anxious, little problems become big problems and those problems are can be very difficult to cope with. It isn't a total drama, nor is it the end of the world... it just felt like it at the time. And it isn't just missing milk. It's little things like when the baby won't settle, or when you stub your little toe and burst into tears because you've just had enough, when your partner couldn't make it the phone for whatever reason to give you that 10 minute chat every day. You get used to offloading the little things (and big things) to someone when they're always around, and when they aren't and you feel like you have no one else to talk to it, you just internalise it all. As I've taken a few days to write this post, I've found that some days are better than others and thankfully my son and I have had more good days than bad (nights a different story), Overall I think this has been a great little bonding experience for us both, like we're getting to know each other better. It's hard adjusting to the fact that my little baby is turning into a toddler and I sometimes forget to treat him like a 1 year old, and not a 3 month old. I'm starting to feel like I'm learning more about him just because it is literally he and I together every day. His attention cries don't grind at me quite the way they used to it because I know what to do now and that simply came about because I knew that no one else was around to help me deal with it. So it hasn't been all bad, that I can say with certainty.

I didn't come here to moan and groan so you'd pity me, or because I wanted to harp on about poor little me who can't drive, I just wanted to talk about how some things affect me. Perhaps you can relate, perhaps you can't and that's ok too. As for the milk situation....a lovely lady who lives close by just happened to be out at the supermarket when I asked on a Facebook group page if anyone could help me, and she dropped it to me on her way home. I'd never met her before, and I'm sure I thanked her a thousand times. That little act of kindness reminded me that somehow things just work out, even when it seems impossible and hopeless and like you're just plain stuck up a creek. I'm sure that woman will never know how she saved my sanity that day. I celebrated by eating a big bowl of cocoa pops. A few days later when I was able to I did my online shopping and then that was one problem solved.

Kiddo and I still have seven days to get through, but that's seven days counting down now because we're on the flip side of halfway. That's still seven days being stuck in our four walls, seven days of getting through one hour at a time, seven days of unpredictable nights and sleep deprivation. But it's better than the eighteen days I was facing at the beginning. We'll manage!

Sunday, 28 September 2014

The half completed projects that are presently taking over our bedroom...

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Project Positive ~ Days 12 and 13

September 12 - I feel good about myself today because...
I got to wash my hair and it is a glorious thing to be grateful for! It seems small and insignificant but the truth is that on weekdays I rarely get more than a few minutes to shower a day if at all. I had a shower today, a decent length one and got to wash my hair AND shave my armpits! Bliss! Let's not talk about the yeti-leg hair though *ahem*

September 13 - You can always count on me for....
Entertaining levels of mild sarcasm and badly timed one liners which are hilarious but usually happen when no one else is around and I've been talking to myself. Oh shush, as if you don't talk to yourself ;-)

Thursday, 11 September 2014

Catching up on #projectpositive

September 6 – I think my best quality is… That I give my 100% to the people I love
September 7 – The 3 words I’d use to describe myself are… Creative, impulsive, hot headed
September 8 – I’m great at my job because… My son is still alive! That makes me an awesome mummy, right? I'm great at my job because I'm a kick-arse mother who does everything she can to make her little boy happy, safe, clean and loved. 
September 9 – I’m confident that I can… Crochet anything under the sun! Challenge accepted? :p 
September 10 – My friends and family say I’m… Strange. I'm sure of it. 
September 11 – I’m lucky to have… So much yarn!!! But seriously, I am so lucky to have such  supportive husband who cares as much as he does about Lynton and I. He knows me better than I know myself

Friday, 5 September 2014

Project Positive Day 4 and 5

Right! I have solved my newborn prop sizing problem! I have created a modelling ball with twine about 35cm around which is (according to google) an average newborn head size. Now when I model my crochet hats in photographs you'll be able to see exactly how it will look and fit. Clever huh? :p I was using a similar ball but methinks it's a bit large. Hopefully that helps!

Now, I believe I have two days to catch up on with #projectpositive. Not feeling very positive at the moment though as my husband is out until late and usually puts our son to bed at night. I try to put him to bed and he screams in protest whereas when my husband does it, bub goes down within 5 minutes without a fight and rarely a peep. That's going to fun to deal with over the 5 weeks I'm here alone. Such fun!

Ok, positive positive positive. I'll try and channel it.
30 days of positivity with #ProjectPositive www.anastasiaamour.com

September 4 - The most valuable thing I've learnt is...
Yes, the biggest and most valuable thing I've learnt to date (and trust me, this was a LONG time coming!) is to be yourself and accept that what other people think of you (or what you think they might think of you) means nothing. I saw a proverb once whilst on Pinterest and as I read it, it was a full blown lightbulb-above-the-head, dramatic realisation music playing in the background, *PING* moment. It read, 'Don't get upset with situations or people, both are POWERLESS without your reaction'. I have thought of that line every day since and every time someone or something has threatened to dissolve my resolve, it has pulled me through. Really truly! I have struggled all my life with reacting the right way to things, always feeling defensive, always feeling like I have to explain myself when feeling threatened, always thinking the worst, always feeling like people are out to get me (a little paranoid, perhaps). The things that have happened to me over the course of my 25 years have shaped the way I think and deal with situations, in most cases I don't deal, and I'm not sure what was special about that day on Pinterest, or what was particularly special about that meme (haven't we all be plagued by motivational memes?) but it happened. So there you go. That is the most valuable thing I've learnt.

September 5 - When I look in the mirror, I see...
Someone who got out of bed that day. Someone who, despite whatever they might have been feeling, fed their son breakfast, changed his nappy, changed his clothes, played with him. Someone who is breathing, standing upright (mostly... I still have the 'I have haven't had more than two nights full sleep in 12 months' hunch going on) and on the occasion, smiles at herself. And I think that's something to be proud of! On my worst days, the days where I might be feeling those things when I look in the mirror, I am grateful that I am still on this Earth! Not every day is like that, and there are many different things I think to myself whilst looking in a mirror on different days and under different circumstances. On very rare days I even look and think 'I'm such a sexy beast'! No I'm kidding, I never do that. But I DO sometimes look and think 'I'm a moderately attractive, possibly in a slightly *mouthes the word sexual* way to some small remote tribe of people who have never seen another human female before and probably don't even know what I am'. My husband tells me I'm pretty but what does he know ;-)
Self esteem is for wimps.

P.S NO I DID NOT leave my son to cry while I wrote out a blog post, in case you were wondering. He settled before I'd started. So nee ner nee ner.

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Project Positive

Recently while I was having my usual late peruse through Instagram, I noticed that one of my friends had posted about something called Project Positive, hosted by Stardust. It's sort of like one of those photo a day things but instead we are encouraged to write a little positive something to do with ourselves every day for the month of September. Now, I'll admit I am definitely not the best at following through with these things. I think my last attempt at Fat Mum Slim's photo-a-day lasted a week despite having prompts pop up on my phone every morning! But, I told Cate that I'd do it along with her, so here I am! I've decided to blog it mostly because my other social media accounts get posted on enough and my little 'ole blog here tends to get a wee bit neglected. Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives and the chaos around us that we forget to take a moment to be thankful for who we are. This is a fabulous idea, and I only hope that I actually see it through and take a little moment each day to sit down and focus on myself for a while.

So, for those who may be reading here is it! My 30 days of #positive!
September 1 - I love my face because...
I have one! Is that a good enough reason? No? Ok fine.. I love my face because it has a mouth to kiss with husband and my baby boy with, lips to sip coffee, lips to smile with. It has cheeks that my son will stroke while he is breastfeeding, cheeks that I can rub my dog's fur against, cheeks that dimple on one side when I laugh. It has a nose to appreciate the delicious scent of freshly baked bread and freshly cut grass. It has eyes through which I can see my world and the world around me, eyes that light up at the sight of new yarn, eyes that allow me to laugh, cry, smile, all without saying a word. It has ears that can choose not to listen to hateful words. And aside from all that, it has character. Because I can express so much of myself through it, and let's 'face it', without faces we'd all look pretty creepy.

September 2 - I love my body because...
This is a hard one, and although it goes against the spirit of this challenge, I have to say that I don't love my body. It has had its ups and downs, and I know most would expect me to at least love my body because it grew and birthed a little human and I whilst I think that's amazing, it doesn't make me love my body. Body acceptance has always been a tough one for me, I've never truly felt comfortable in my own skin and that probably roots from something a lot deeper but it's the truth.
I WILL say though that I love my body because it functions and all the parts work like they're supposed to. Sure it had a few physical flaws but for the most part, good on ya, body! Thanks for letting me eat food, thanks for my circulatory system, thanks for my creative brain (the right side, I think. No thanks to the side that failed me in math), thanks for my limbs and just thanks in general for being a good 'ole skin bag and holding everything in.

And today...
September 3 - I'm a great friend because...
*TWINGE* oh that one pulls at the heart strings. If I was a great friend, I'm sure I'd have more of them. No no no, that's bad. Ok let's try again.
I'm a great friend because I don't judge. I have never expected my friends to be in a good mood and pestered them to be happy when they don't feel like it because that is one thing that I truly truly truly appreciate in any relationship. When you have social anxieties and you're not overly outgoing it can be so tremendously difficult to keep friends, but over the years I have kept some amazing ones because they are and continue to be totally accepting of the whole 'Tash' thing. Sure we might not see one another in person, because in this day and age many strong relationships stay that way thanks to the internet. We can share our lives on a completely personal level and have no doubts that if we were to meet up one day, we'd be two peas in a pod. Two very shy peas to start with of course but you get the idea.
I don't expect for the people around me to be happy and chirpy in my presence if they don't feel like it, I want them to know that I'm just happy they WANT to be in my presence, in whatever mood they're in and be comfortable. I don't mind :-)

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

*yarngasm* My beautiful new merino yarn

Meet the newest addition to my yarn stash! Although I must admit, she gets pride of place in her own special box because she is a tinsy winsy bit more pricey than what I usually buy. Yes, it is a she! You are looking at $35 worth of hand spun, hand dyed, custom coloured merino yarn I had custom made recently. I've been excitedly waiting on her arrival and woke this morning to a pleasant surprise on my doorstep. 

Now that I have it, I'm too scared to use it. I'm going to have to really think up something special for this one! Being in Christmas colours, I had originally planned on creating a Christmas themed crochet newborn prop or two but as the yarn was so pricey, I'm unsure if there will be many people interested in paying for a little hat priced around the $40 mark, but we'll see. This is my first time using 'real' yarn made from merino and I am thinking I may need to buy more and that this may become a very expensive (but WORTH IT) addiction. And of course, it doesn't have to be custom made every time. There are cheaper options pre-made in other textures and colours. I'm going to need to have a shop, and a play, around and see what I can do.

Hmmmmm, an interesting new endeavor for your friendly neighbourhood crazy crochet lady!

Isn't she just B-E-A-utiful! 

Friday, 22 August 2014

A glorious rainbow baby beanie and yes, you guessed it! More Christmas props *wink wink*

Sunday, 17 August 2014

Snuggly buggly wuggly

It's snuggle blanket fever! And it catches on fast ;-) Everyone has it and it's keeping me super busy. Here are my two latest finished pieces; another pretty in pink baby unicorn and a special new addition ladybug blanket of my own design! Lots more on my list this fortnight, so keep an eye out for those. Ooooh and guess what??! As we speak my beautiful merino hand spun and dyed yarn is drying down in Adelaide, worked up by a wonderful lady I found on Etsy who knew exactly what I wanted. I am DYING (pun pun) to see it and can't wait to get my mitts on that lovely soft ball of deliciousness!!! 

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Yesterday there was a Christmas theme happening at the Dear Doily H.Q, and 3 lovely newborn photography props were created! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here already! 

How I got back in control of my anxiety

Has anyone else found the past week or so especially more stressful and difficult emotionally and stress-level wise than normal? I certainly...