Sunday, 28 September 2014

The half completed projects that are presently taking over our bedroom...

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Project Positive ~ Days 12 and 13

September 12 - I feel good about myself today because...
I got to wash my hair and it is a glorious thing to be grateful for! It seems small and insignificant but the truth is that on weekdays I rarely get more than a few minutes to shower a day if at all. I had a shower today, a decent length one and got to wash my hair AND shave my armpits! Bliss! Let's not talk about the yeti-leg hair though *ahem*

September 13 - You can always count on me for....
Entertaining levels of mild sarcasm and badly timed one liners which are hilarious but usually happen when no one else is around and I've been talking to myself. Oh shush, as if you don't talk to yourself ;-)

Thursday, 11 September 2014

Catching up on #projectpositive

September 6 – I think my best quality is… That I give my 100% to the people I love
September 7 – The 3 words I’d use to describe myself are… Creative, impulsive, hot headed
September 8 – I’m great at my job because… My son is still alive! That makes me an awesome mummy, right? I'm great at my job because I'm a kick-arse mother who does everything she can to make her little boy happy, safe, clean and loved. 
September 9 – I’m confident that I can… Crochet anything under the sun! Challenge accepted? :p 
September 10 – My friends and family say I’m… Strange. I'm sure of it. 
September 11 – I’m lucky to have… So much yarn!!! But seriously, I am so lucky to have such  supportive husband who cares as much as he does about Lynton and I. He knows me better than I know myself

Friday, 5 September 2014

Project Positive Day 4 and 5

Right! I have solved my newborn prop sizing problem! I have created a modelling ball with twine about 35cm around which is (according to google) an average newborn head size. Now when I model my crochet hats in photographs you'll be able to see exactly how it will look and fit. Clever huh? :p I was using a similar ball but methinks it's a bit large. Hopefully that helps!

Now, I believe I have two days to catch up on with #projectpositive. Not feeling very positive at the moment though as my husband is out until late and usually puts our son to bed at night. I try to put him to bed and he screams in protest whereas when my husband does it, bub goes down within 5 minutes without a fight and rarely a peep. That's going to fun to deal with over the 5 weeks I'm here alone. Such fun!

Ok, positive positive positive. I'll try and channel it.
30 days of positivity with #ProjectPositive

September 4 - The most valuable thing I've learnt is...
Yes, the biggest and most valuable thing I've learnt to date (and trust me, this was a LONG time coming!) is to be yourself and accept that what other people think of you (or what you think they might think of you) means nothing. I saw a proverb once whilst on Pinterest and as I read it, it was a full blown lightbulb-above-the-head, dramatic realisation music playing in the background, *PING* moment. It read, 'Don't get upset with situations or people, both are POWERLESS without your reaction'. I have thought of that line every day since and every time someone or something has threatened to dissolve my resolve, it has pulled me through. Really truly! I have struggled all my life with reacting the right way to things, always feeling defensive, always feeling like I have to explain myself when feeling threatened, always thinking the worst, always feeling like people are out to get me (a little paranoid, perhaps). The things that have happened to me over the course of my 25 years have shaped the way I think and deal with situations, in most cases I don't deal, and I'm not sure what was special about that day on Pinterest, or what was particularly special about that meme (haven't we all be plagued by motivational memes?) but it happened. So there you go. That is the most valuable thing I've learnt.

September 5 - When I look in the mirror, I see...
Someone who got out of bed that day. Someone who, despite whatever they might have been feeling, fed their son breakfast, changed his nappy, changed his clothes, played with him. Someone who is breathing, standing upright (mostly... I still have the 'I have haven't had more than two nights full sleep in 12 months' hunch going on) and on the occasion, smiles at herself. And I think that's something to be proud of! On my worst days, the days where I might be feeling those things when I look in the mirror, I am grateful that I am still on this Earth! Not every day is like that, and there are many different things I think to myself whilst looking in a mirror on different days and under different circumstances. On very rare days I even look and think 'I'm such a sexy beast'! No I'm kidding, I never do that. But I DO sometimes look and think 'I'm a moderately attractive, possibly in a slightly *mouthes the word sexual* way to some small remote tribe of people who have never seen another human female before and probably don't even know what I am'. My husband tells me I'm pretty but what does he know ;-)
Self esteem is for wimps.

P.S NO I DID NOT leave my son to cry while I wrote out a blog post, in case you were wondering. He settled before I'd started. So nee ner nee ner.

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Project Positive

Recently while I was having my usual late peruse through Instagram, I noticed that one of my friends had posted about something called Project Positive, hosted by Stardust. It's sort of like one of those photo a day things but instead we are encouraged to write a little positive something to do with ourselves every day for the month of September. Now, I'll admit I am definitely not the best at following through with these things. I think my last attempt at Fat Mum Slim's photo-a-day lasted a week despite having prompts pop up on my phone every morning! But, I told Cate that I'd do it along with her, so here I am! I've decided to blog it mostly because my other social media accounts get posted on enough and my little 'ole blog here tends to get a wee bit neglected. Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives and the chaos around us that we forget to take a moment to be thankful for who we are. This is a fabulous idea, and I only hope that I actually see it through and take a little moment each day to sit down and focus on myself for a while.

So, for those who may be reading here is it! My 30 days of #positive!
September 1 - I love my face because...
I have one! Is that a good enough reason? No? Ok fine.. I love my face because it has a mouth to kiss with husband and my baby boy with, lips to sip coffee, lips to smile with. It has cheeks that my son will stroke while he is breastfeeding, cheeks that I can rub my dog's fur against, cheeks that dimple on one side when I laugh. It has a nose to appreciate the delicious scent of freshly baked bread and freshly cut grass. It has eyes through which I can see my world and the world around me, eyes that light up at the sight of new yarn, eyes that allow me to laugh, cry, smile, all without saying a word. It has ears that can choose not to listen to hateful words. And aside from all that, it has character. Because I can express so much of myself through it, and let's 'face it', without faces we'd all look pretty creepy.

September 2 - I love my body because...
This is a hard one, and although it goes against the spirit of this challenge, I have to say that I don't love my body. It has had its ups and downs, and I know most would expect me to at least love my body because it grew and birthed a little human and I whilst I think that's amazing, it doesn't make me love my body. Body acceptance has always been a tough one for me, I've never truly felt comfortable in my own skin and that probably roots from something a lot deeper but it's the truth.
I WILL say though that I love my body because it functions and all the parts work like they're supposed to. Sure it had a few physical flaws but for the most part, good on ya, body! Thanks for letting me eat food, thanks for my circulatory system, thanks for my creative brain (the right side, I think. No thanks to the side that failed me in math), thanks for my limbs and just thanks in general for being a good 'ole skin bag and holding everything in.

And today...
September 3 - I'm a great friend because...
*TWINGE* oh that one pulls at the heart strings. If I was a great friend, I'm sure I'd have more of them. No no no, that's bad. Ok let's try again.
I'm a great friend because I don't judge. I have never expected my friends to be in a good mood and pestered them to be happy when they don't feel like it because that is one thing that I truly truly truly appreciate in any relationship. When you have social anxieties and you're not overly outgoing it can be so tremendously difficult to keep friends, but over the years I have kept some amazing ones because they are and continue to be totally accepting of the whole 'Tash' thing. Sure we might not see one another in person, because in this day and age many strong relationships stay that way thanks to the internet. We can share our lives on a completely personal level and have no doubts that if we were to meet up one day, we'd be two peas in a pod. Two very shy peas to start with of course but you get the idea.
I don't expect for the people around me to be happy and chirpy in my presence if they don't feel like it, I want them to know that I'm just happy they WANT to be in my presence, in whatever mood they're in and be comfortable. I don't mind :-)

How I got back in control of my anxiety

Has anyone else found the past week or so especially more stressful and difficult emotionally and stress-level wise than normal? I certainly...