Friday, 5 September 2014

Project Positive Day 4 and 5

Right! I have solved my newborn prop sizing problem! I have created a modelling ball with twine about 35cm around which is (according to google) an average newborn head size. Now when I model my crochet hats in photographs you'll be able to see exactly how it will look and fit. Clever huh? :p I was using a similar ball but methinks it's a bit large. Hopefully that helps!

Now, I believe I have two days to catch up on with #projectpositive. Not feeling very positive at the moment though as my husband is out until late and usually puts our son to bed at night. I try to put him to bed and he screams in protest whereas when my husband does it, bub goes down within 5 minutes without a fight and rarely a peep. That's going to fun to deal with over the 5 weeks I'm here alone. Such fun!

Ok, positive positive positive. I'll try and channel it.
30 days of positivity with #ProjectPositive

September 4 - The most valuable thing I've learnt is...
Yes, the biggest and most valuable thing I've learnt to date (and trust me, this was a LONG time coming!) is to be yourself and accept that what other people think of you (or what you think they might think of you) means nothing. I saw a proverb once whilst on Pinterest and as I read it, it was a full blown lightbulb-above-the-head, dramatic realisation music playing in the background, *PING* moment. It read, 'Don't get upset with situations or people, both are POWERLESS without your reaction'. I have thought of that line every day since and every time someone or something has threatened to dissolve my resolve, it has pulled me through. Really truly! I have struggled all my life with reacting the right way to things, always feeling defensive, always feeling like I have to explain myself when feeling threatened, always thinking the worst, always feeling like people are out to get me (a little paranoid, perhaps). The things that have happened to me over the course of my 25 years have shaped the way I think and deal with situations, in most cases I don't deal, and I'm not sure what was special about that day on Pinterest, or what was particularly special about that meme (haven't we all be plagued by motivational memes?) but it happened. So there you go. That is the most valuable thing I've learnt.

September 5 - When I look in the mirror, I see...
Someone who got out of bed that day. Someone who, despite whatever they might have been feeling, fed their son breakfast, changed his nappy, changed his clothes, played with him. Someone who is breathing, standing upright (mostly... I still have the 'I have haven't had more than two nights full sleep in 12 months' hunch going on) and on the occasion, smiles at herself. And I think that's something to be proud of! On my worst days, the days where I might be feeling those things when I look in the mirror, I am grateful that I am still on this Earth! Not every day is like that, and there are many different things I think to myself whilst looking in a mirror on different days and under different circumstances. On very rare days I even look and think 'I'm such a sexy beast'! No I'm kidding, I never do that. But I DO sometimes look and think 'I'm a moderately attractive, possibly in a slightly *mouthes the word sexual* way to some small remote tribe of people who have never seen another human female before and probably don't even know what I am'. My husband tells me I'm pretty but what does he know ;-)
Self esteem is for wimps.

P.S NO I DID NOT leave my son to cry while I wrote out a blog post, in case you were wondering. He settled before I'd started. So nee ner nee ner.

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