Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Sad, sad, sad.

I really really do not feel like blogging right now. But let's give it a shot! Today we were given the news that instead of having the possibility of leaving Darwin at the end of next year, we will instead be staying here for another 3 years. It was totally unexpected news and has thrown me off completely. As a family we had only just sat down and mapped out our next 12 months, and all today has proven is that no amount of planning or wishful thinking will get you where you want to be when certain aspects of your life aren't under your control. I haven't accepted this news yet. Neither of us have. I haven't yet looked for any other, if any, options that might be available to us. I am entirely heartbroken. That hope I'd held to be closer to my family and my friends by next year has been ripped out from under me, and from here, everything changes.

That's just the way it is, and I know that. But it's going to take time to come to terms with. I just feel like everything is a struggle lately, and nothing is becoming easier. Waiting, waiting, waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel to start peeking through the darkness. Long story short, I'm bummed. And I've broken my sugar free fortnight!! I went and bought, and ate dark chocolate didn't I? I've been off sugar now since last Monday and had been going so well. Eh, a bit of dark chocolate is probably better than an entire bucket of KFC of chicken though, right? Eating my feelings is how I got into this overweight mess to begin with, and typically my first instinct after *the news* was to go find junk to gorge on. BLAH. So now I feel like I've let myself down as well.

Today sucks. Yesterday sucked. Last week sucked. And the week before that sucked. When will everything start to not suck?

Ugh.

There, I blogged.

Happy now? I'm not :-(

3 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear of all your sucking lovely. I was once an army wife. I know how much it suxs balls. Big fat hairy ones at that. Hang in there lovely and just remember everything happens for a reason. You may never know the reason for years to come but a reason there will always be. Sending lots of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses your way.

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  2. That's awful Tash. Having support around with your two littlies would take the pressure off. Even with family around I found raising young kids a struggle. Keep talking to people and getting out when you can, don't let it get you down. Humans are social and need others (especially when it all feels too hard).

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    1. Loretta! Hi! Sorry, I'm terrible at responding to blog comments (it's my mission for today!). I'm actually glad you found me :-) Thank you for that, young kids aren't easy. It's nice to know someone understands. It's definitely easier now that I'm living off that terrible army base and back in the community, it's made socialising so much easier which is better for all of us x

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