Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Happy happy joy joy!

Why keep things in your home that you don't need or don't like looking at? What's the point of that exactly? I asked myself that this afternoon as I wandered up and down our hallway looking at the clutter. Sometimes I look at something and think 'that thing makes me angry'. We all have things like that, or locations in our houses, you know, *that* corner where paperwork goes to die. The pile of stuff under the bed because hey, out of sight out of mind right? But WHY? We don't acquire stuff for it to annoy us. I have some objects that I've held on to for years and years and not liking them has become a habit, so I don't think to change my thinking. Today I challenged my thinking and had a look around with a fresh squidgy pair of eyeballs (don't worry, I gave them back when I was done) and I threw out three garbage bags worth of crap, and filled two boxes to donate. One of those bags was just the unused and old decrepit contents of a bathroom cupboard! Why I had multiple tubes of moisturising lotion when I don't use it is beyond me. I threw out crummy emery boards, a rather fossilised pumice stone, a rusty pair of nail clippers, stretched-open-to-the-point-of-no-return bobby pins (and found where all my others had been hiding, having a luau behind the shampoo). I got rid of some soaps I'd been given ages ago that I kept thinking I'd put out for guests on a special occasion. I also got rid of the notion that guests need special soap put out for special occasions. I have NO IDEA where I picked that up. I riffled through and got rid of all my unrealistically tiny (for me) size 10 dresses that would probably now go around one thigh and maybe an elbow if I tried really hard; they'd been taking up space for no reason and only added to my anguish every time I opened my cupboard looking for something to wear. I'd see them there and automatically start down the 'I have nothing to wear, I'm fat and ugly' road. That wasn't helping anyone! Now when I go to my cupboard I know everything in it will fit. I don't necessarily like it all, but that's a task for another day. It's on my list! Dress to suit my personality. Easier said than done when the fashion options perpetually suck, I may have to break out the sewing machine! 

I started sorting out the stuff in one of the hallway cupboards that had been hastily unpacked there after our last move. Most of it was craft supplies that I've had with me for years and years. It didn't necessarily need tossing out, but it did need sorting. I'm partway through it and am actually looking forward to getting the rest of it done tomorrow. You see hubby goes back to work next week, and I've been sick for the entire duration of his holidays so I'm feeling like things are out of control right now. I'm scared. I was scared thinking of it before, and now I'm scared thinking of it and worried to death that I won't be well enough to cope with the kids again on my own. I thought that if I tackled some of the tricky stuff it might help me feel better later. I'm struggling to breathe, I'm coughing up a lung, I'm exhausted, I'm terrified, but I'm determined. After all my word for 2016 is CAPABLE and so I shall be. It's 19 days into the new year and I'm amazed at just how many things I've accomplished already. Don't get me wrong, I am excited about the year to come! I was more excited before I got sick though, and definitely felt more equipped to handle it before I got sick. I'm doing my best to remain positive. Nothing, not even life, is set in stone and everything is subject to the ebb and flow of the universe. I want myself to let go of the metaphorical rock when I see the big scary wave come and just allow myself to be carried along trusting in the knowledge that any direction is a good direction when you've been stranded in one spot for so long. The first step of letting some clutter go is me starting to loosen my grip. My environment is changing in more ways than one and I need to be surrounded by more things that bring me joy, so that I can continue to create joy in my life. In the words of Stimpy: 
Image found via Google

2 comments:

  1. Good on you for actively creating your own happy. There is a line the movie About a Boy, where Hugh Grant says you have to be responsible for your own happy because if you expect other people to create your happy then they also have the opportunity to create your sad. Or words to that effect.

    Sending lots of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses your way

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    1. Would you believe I haven't actually seen that movie? I was only introduced to Hugh Grant movies in recent years and I have a lot of catching up to do! He is absolutely right of course. We must make our own happy :-) We can allow other people to contribute to our happy, but we have the final say.

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