Thursday, 11 February 2016

Fly away home

Here I am in beautiful Byabarra, staying with the kids on my parent's property. I arrived very early Wednesday morning around 2am after a long car drive from Sydney, which followed an equally long flight from Darwin. Both of the boys did well considering the circumstances, the poor things were exhausted by the end of it. But here we all are! Safe and on our way to finding a bit of calm and quiet.
Every time I make the trip back to NSW I'm amazed at how different it feels to the NT and I find myself relaxing into the familiar which I think is the normal reaction to 'home'. This is the first time visiting mum and dad's new house and it's just gorgeous out here. Yesterday I took the toddler down to see all the animals which included some very big fish in a bathtub, a sweet little bunny (which he was smitten with), a large fluffy and very excitable Labradoodle who was only too happy to have a little person to play with, a duck that thinks it's a chicken, the chickens who share their house with the duck, and two donkeys. We are one of only eight houses here, one church, and a cafe and art gallery. On the odd occasion there will be a car going by, but the only sounds out here are those of birds and blissful nothingness. Which I disturbed promptly by introducing little people into it. Sorry, nature.

Oh, and the weather! I absolutely cannot express exactly how amazing it is to walk outside and not feel like you're in a sauna. It's a dry heat but there is actually a cool breeze. A cool breeze. The kind we get for a month in dry season up North. AH-MAZING. Needless to say that I'm very happy in my temporary new surroundings. At this stage I'm not sure how long we'll be staying, but I'm sure I'll know when the time is right. I am here to have a break from the every day, I'm here to reconnect with myself and work some things out. I am here to spend time with family, and give the kids the experience of swimming on the shore without the fear of croc-attack. I'm here to allow others to help me with the care of the children in an environment that doesn't cause me anxiety or stress. Already I can see how my shift in mood has positively affected the moods of my kids. It's hard to shake the guilt of causing them unnecessary tension, but I need to keep on reminding myself that that is precisely why I am here. I was aware that I wasn't properly taking care of myself and I was equally aware of the fact I was trying to squeeze blood from a stone in giving my all to those in my care. I've been feeling so drained and I guess now it's time to refill that cup!

I bought along some of my favourite things to help the process along; my colouring book, pencils and Inktense pencils, my camera and 50mm lens, all my crystals and stones came with me wrapped in scarves, clothes that make me feel fabulous, a few tarot decks (it was hard not to bring them all but sadly I had to leave room in my suitcase to take things home with *wink* I plan on visiting all the crystal shops in Port Macquarie when we go in, and the Op shops, and we have plans to visit the Comboyne show next weekend! I'm so excited for that!!

I'll try to blog regularly while I'm here, and I will definitely be back to share more photos. In the meantime, this is Cinnamon Bun. The toddler is in love with her.


2 comments:

  1. sounds like just what you need right now. enjoy the time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Reading this post made my heart swell. So glad you are in a position to go home for a bit and regenerate. Sending you lots of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses xxx

    ReplyDelete

Project Pan #2 - December

Hello hello and welcome to the second post in my Project Pan. Over the past month since starting this I've definitely learnt a few thing...